How many times have you done something that you didn’t want to just to make other people happy? How many times have you gone to some party or event you really didn’t want to just to keep up appearances? If you’re anything like me, then probably too many times.
Of course we can’t always just do what we want. That’s not how life works. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and do something you don’t really want to do. You have to go to work even on the days you don’t want to, you have to go write that test to pass that class. However, you don’t have to go to that party if you don’t want to. You aren’t obligated to hang out with someone if you don’t really like them, or if you’re tired and want nothing more than to go home and go to bed.
It’s not uncommon to feel like you’re obligated to go to every social event that you’re invited to. There’s so many reasons as to why you might feel that way. Maybe you want people to perceive you, or you don’t want to disappoint your friends, or you feel like at your age it’s what you’re supposed to do. But most reasons have to do with other people, and don’t really involve you and your feelings.
At the end of the day, though, that’s your time and energy. You have to decide how you want to spend it. Sure, if you say no your friends might be disappointed and give you a hard time. But they’ll get over it, and if they’re really the type of people worth being around, they will understand.
You only have so much time to spend. Think of it like currency. You start with a certain amount in your account, and every decision you make spends some of it. Eventually, all of your time will be used up, so you should spend it wisely. Make sure you are happy with the way you spend your time. Make sure that you feel fulfilled and good about the choices you make.
I’m not perfect at this. I spend my times in ways that maybe I don’t always want to. I say yes to things because I feel like it will make other people happy, even if it’s not the way I wat to do things. But I’m working on it.
Just don’t forget you’re allowed to say no. You’re allowed to make decisions that reflect what you actually want to do. At first it might feel uncomfortable, especially if you’re used to making decisions for the sake of others. But once you get used to it, it will feel really good. So just give it a try. Try saying no.